Author Topic: Video Game Logic!  (Read 454 times)

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OperaPanda

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Video Game Logic!
« on: June 15, 2017, 01:52:13 PM »
Skyrim
Player: *uses Unrelenting Force shout on chicken*
Guard: "That person yelled at a chicken! Get him!"

Assassin's Creed
Guard: *chases player*
Player: *jumps in haystack*
Guard: "What the....where'd he..?"

Mario
Player: "Ok, Peach is safe...again.  Listen, why don't we, I don't know, post a few more guards? Install a lock on the front door?  I mean seriously, that's the 6th time this month you let Bowser just walk in and kidnap the princess."
Peach: "Naaaaah, it's fine."
Player: "But....but..."
Bowser: *walks in* "Oh hey, Peach.  You left the front door open again."  
Peach: "Whoops!  And the guards called in sick today too.  Ok, give me a minute, I gotta write a note for Mario."
Bowser: "Ok"
Player:"............."

Drooby

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Re: Video Game Logic!
« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2017, 08:42:09 AM »
Zelda
Make the final boss scarier and scarier with every installment
Add more random story that somewhat contradicts other games
Have one single feature that is necessary to gameplay, but only include it for one of those installments (hookshot, leaf glider, ocarina, paraglider...)
Dont supply enough amiibos for the US so people have to pay like 50 bucks to import them from Japan

Pokemon
Recycle the same plot from every game
Add one useless feature that just takes up space in the game (CAMERA, SERIOUSLY!?)
Make it impossible to start competitive Pokemon if you don't import at least 6 level 100 pokemon from another game so you can get the items for your Pokemon to use
Recreate Pikachu with the most relevant typing for that generation (Minun, Plusle, Pachirisu, Emolga, Dedenne, Togedemaru) btw Dedenne's pretty much my favorite pokemon but still, these pokes were pretty unoriginal

GTA V
No customer support
BUY SHARK CARDS

I feel like mine weren't as creative as yours Opera, since I'm just pretty much complaining and you came up with dialogue and scenes and stuff, but it's pretty much the same, right? :'))))

OperaPanda

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Re: Video Game Logic!
« Reply #2 on: June 21, 2017, 01:56:06 PM »
Lol, yeah, it's basically the same thing.  I'm half-complaining, half-laughing at games and at myself for trying to apply realistic logic to them

Also, I like how you pointed out the whole Zelda stories contradicting with each other.  Each new game seems to make the already-complicated Zelda timeline even more scrambled up.  It's already confusing enough with the alternate timelines and trying to figure out if the newest game is part of young Link's timeline or older Link's timeline.

Also, regarding the features only included in one installment (hook shot, glider, etc.)  I've also noticed that not only are they included in just one game for the franchise, they're also used for like one dungeon and then you basically never use them again except for getting hidden items or [SPOILER ALERT] during the end-game boss rush that's in basically every Zelda game.

Also here's a little dialogue scene thing for pokemon:
Player: *walking around low-level area looking for items or going to a new area*
Trainer: *spots player* "Hey, we made eye contact, let's battle!  I have a level 2 Rattata!"
Player: "Oh, I guess I missed you when I first came through this area.  You do realize that my pokemon are insanely powerful now."
Trainer: "That's okay!  I'm sure my Rattata can defeat all your pokemon!"
Player: *sigh* "Fine, Charizard, use flamethrower...."

MistakenForFame

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Re: Video Game Logic!
« Reply #3 on: June 30, 2017, 12:04:31 PM »
COD:
Let me sit behind this bullet proof desk and quickly some how recover from being shot 52 times,